so while reading the news, i came across an interesting article... apparently an international soccer star named Ronaldo (don't worry, i haven't heard of him either) was busted with a prostitute... but not just any hooker... a tranny hooker..
and if that wasn't enough, the website i was reading proceeded to give their 10 top ten ways to spot a tranny... let the hilarity ensue...
10. Ask to See the Hands
The eyes may be the windows to the soul, but the hands provide a window, albeit obscured, to gender. In addition to looking for larger, generally more gnarled digits, be aware that most men have shorter index fingers than ring fingers. Playful punches that result in bruises, like those from the transvestite pictured to the left, can also be a sign of hands that are less than feminine.9. Inspect the Brow
One the left is a photo of the transvestite who made the accusations against Ronaldo. If the soccer star is guilty of anything, it's ignoring her prominent brow and straight eyebrows. In general, women have a less-pronounced brow and more curvature to their eyebrows. Ronaldo must've missed that memo.8. Be Suspicious of Narrow Hips
Women have a distinctive pelvis shape, because they're equipped for birthing children. This feature of the female figure is difficult for males to mimic, as illustrated in this photo of the Arquette sisters. (Alexis, in the middle, used to be named Alex.) Even with Rosanna wearing a suit, it's fairly obvious which of these three won't be squeezing out any little ones.7. Don't Be Fooled By Breasts
Though hips are difficult to fake, breasts are not, as anyone who lives in the Los Angeles area can tell you. Avoid being drawn in by their allure. Fun bags may be aptly named, but the merriment they evoke will be quickly extinguished once it's discovered that they are connected to a person with testicles.6. Distrust Lengthy Arms
This is pretty straightforward. Men on average have longer arms than women. If a girl with arms like Patrick Ewing approaches you, don't buy her a drink. Run, and hope she doesn't immediately realize you're fleeing, because she may attempt to use her sizable wingspan to reach out and corral you like a mother osprey.5. Notice Flexibility
It's been documented that female hormones promote joint flexibility, while testosterone reduces it. It may be too much to ask someone you've just met to attempt a split. Instead, get them on the dance floor to provide some insight. However, if you see a woman dancing on a moving bus, like the one pictured above, don't be fooled by her flexibility. She's got junk.4. Calculate the Torso-to-Leg-Length Ratio
Generally, women have short torsos and long legs, and men have long torsos and short legs. High-heeled footwear and short skirts are often used by transvestites to help create an illusion of femininity. Above, a pink leotard and leggings are employed for the same effect. No doubt, it's also meant to attract heterosexual males who enjoy the movie "Fame."3. Check the Facial Features
Not every man posing as a woman will be as obvious (or as nightmarish) as the one pictured to the left. Besides paying attention to the brow, remember that men often have a longer distance from their nose to their upper lip than women do. Also, men tend to have a ridge across the center of the forehead. Cosmetic surgery can alter facial features drastically, so be wary of those with swollen, non-emotive, or Michael Jackson-esque mugs.
2. Look for the Adam's Apple
The Adam's apple is the straight guy's best friend when it comes to identifying a chick with man meat. When you see that bump mid-neck, you can be certain you're part of a gender-bending situation that's even less funny than a scene from "Juwanna Mann."1. Listen to the Voice
Take a long look at the women above. The blond is being crowned Miss International Queen 2004. Believe it or not, that's a beauty pageant in which all contestants are transvestites or transgendered males. When they look like that, all you've got to go on is the pitch of the voice. It's your last line of defense, and may God help you if they sound like Barry White.
