..and I found it funny... maybe it was my extreme boredom or amazing ability to be easily amused, but I giggled... so here it is friends, with my own commentary and whatnot, as usual :)
The Eight People Who Will Ruin Your Party
8. Person Who Insists on Cleaning Up Your Party While It's Still Going On
Where You Can Find Them: All up in your ish, asking you if you're done with the drink you're still holding, or carrying a white trash bag stalking your apartment for trash.
Why They Ruin Your Party: It's nice that they're so eager to help you clean up, but its pretty much assumed and understood that if you're going to throw a party at your place, it's going to end up looking like Amy Winehouse's bedroom... and odds are, your friend's will get easily annoyed with the clean freak.
7. Guy Who Gets Wasted In The First Hour
Where You Can Find Them: Wherever the booze is located.
Why They Ruin Your Party: This guy shows up early, and waaaay too excited to get wasted. He then proceeds to shotgun, chug, and bodyshot everything and anything he can get his hands on... In 45 minutes. So instead of being able to kick back and chill with your friends, or talk to that hottie you have your eye on, you have to make sure your passed out friend doesn't get bodily fluids on himself.. let alone your stuff. eww.
6. Person Who Only Knows You
Where You Can Find Them: Right freaking next to you the entire time.
Why They Ruin Your Party: You invited them because you thought they were cool and would bring hot friends. But now that they showed up solo, and clinging to you awkwardly, you wish you hadn't... forcing you to a) drag them around with you the entire time, making them a part of all your conversations, or b) leaving them alone in the corner as they stare at you awkwardly... and having friend after friend tell you "watch your back.. there's a creeper over there staring you down..."
5. Girl (Or Guy) Who Starts Crying
Where You Can Find Them: Hogging the bathroom, or in someone's bedroom.
Why They Ruin Your Party: For some odd reason, they decided to show up at your party, KNOWING they just broke up with someone... and now that they've got crunk juice in them, decided to make you their personal oprah. And no matter what you say, or how many hugs they give, they still cry... and refuse to get their sobbing butt out of the bathroom everyone so desperately needs.
4. The Dude Who Just Got Dumped
Where You Can Find Them: Trapping some unsuspecting person in a corner, talking way too much.
Why They Ruin Your Party: Don't be confused friends... this person is actually different than the crier above. Rather than leaning on the shoulders of friends, this guy is known to approach a complete stranger and immediately start talking about his failed relationship. And as much as you want to get away from this guy you can't... because you made the mistake of listening to him for 2 minutes, he now considers you his temporary BFF.
3. The Creepy Dude Who Tries To Get With All Your Friends
Where You Can Find Them: Next to anything with a vajayjay.
Why They Ruin Your Party: For one, he's just plain creepy, and refuses to get the hint that none of your friends want him. Also, if he actually goes home with one of your friends, your party will not be known as "That Awesome Halloween Party" but instead, "That Party Where Becky Became The Inspiration for a Lifetime Movie".
2. Couple Who Brings Their Baby
Where You Can Find Them: Everywhere, annoying everyone with the screaming, pooping mess, that is their child.
Why They Ruin Your Party: You obviously named you party KEGFEST '08 for a reason... and there's a BABY AT THE PARTY.... need i say more?
1. The Politics Guy
Where You Can Find Them: Wandering from group to group, annoying the hell out of everyone.
Why They Ruin Your Party: For some reason they deem it appropriate to discuss the credentials of Sarah Palin with you, when all you care about is finding more booze, and getting your groove on with that hottie you saw earlier.
she would look like this.. haha, go to makemebabies.com and upload a pic or yourself and your favorite celebrity or your significant other and see what your baby would look like!
haha, so upon inititally seeing this, i thought it was just a normal picture of a group of homies, but no, peep the white guy on the right... that's AL GORE, haha i repeat, that's AL GORE... i have no idea where and when this picture was taken, but all i have to say is that it made my day.
The eyes may be the windows to the soul, but the hands provide a window, albeit obscured, to gender. In addition to looking for larger, generally more gnarled digits, be aware that most men have shorter index fingers than ring fingers. Playful punches that result in bruises, like those from the transvestite pictured to the left, can also be a sign of hands that are less than feminine.
One the left is a photo of the transvestite who made the accusations against Ronaldo. If the soccer star is guilty of anything, it's ignoring her prominent brow and straight eyebrows. In general, women have a less-pronounced brow and more curvature to their eyebrows. Ronaldo must've missed that memo.
Women have a distinctive pelvis shape, because they're equipped for birthing children. This feature of the female figure is difficult for males to mimic, as illustrated in this photo of the Arquette sisters. (Alexis, in the middle, used to be named Alex.) Even with Rosanna wearing a suit, it's fairly obvious which of these three won't be squeezing out any little ones.
Though hips are difficult to fake, breasts are not, as anyone who lives in the Los Angeles area can tell you. Avoid being drawn in by their allure. Fun bags may be aptly named, but the merriment they evoke will be quickly extinguished once it's discovered that they are connected to a person with testicles.
This is pretty straightforward. Men on average have longer arms than women. If a girl with arms like Patrick Ewing approaches you, don't buy her a drink. Run, and hope she doesn't immediately realize you're fleeing, because she may attempt to use her sizable wingspan to reach out and corral you like a mother osprey.
It's been documented that female hormones promote joint flexibility, while testosterone reduces it. It may be too much to ask someone you've just met to attempt a split. Instead, get them on the dance floor to provide some insight. However, if you see a woman dancing on a moving bus, like the one pictured above, don't be fooled by her flexibility. She's got junk.
Generally, women have short torsos and long legs, and men have long torsos and short legs. High-heeled footwear and short skirts are often used by transvestites to help create an illusion of femininity. Above, a pink leotard and leggings are employed for the same effect. No doubt, it's also meant to attract heterosexual males who enjoy the movie "Fame."
The Adam's apple is the straight guy's best friend when it comes to identifying a chick with man meat. When you see that bump mid-neck, you can be certain you're part of a gender-bending situation that's even less funny than a scene from "Juwanna Mann."
Take a long look at the women above. The blond is being crowned Miss International Queen 2004. Believe it or not, that's a beauty pageant in which all contestants are transvestites or transgendered males. When they look like that, all you've got to go on is the pitch of the voice. It's your last line of defense, and may God help you if they sound like Barry White.
